He rang me twice, earlier and I missed the calls (the guy who said we needed to talk) then i texted him saying "so...you called. what do you want to talk about?" I got no reply until I got a call at 1.30. So i answered and he hung up. Then he sent messages saying he needed to talk, but oh no, its fine now, it was a big deal but it isn't any more. The thing is, i know this is just an attention thing, but I cant find enough fakeness in me to pretend I care and text/call back.
I feel quite bitter today. But when I went out, out of choice it wasn't there at all.
I feel very bitter at one person in particular, who I know, knows. But instead of asking me about it, he'll either ignore it, or ask me questions that he knows infuriates me.
I still haven't applied for my student loan. Ive lost my art id number and I'm too proud to ask for help.
Also the house I was meant to move into next year has fallen through, my friend is still trying to save it, but essentially we are screwed, especially seeing as I need to move out by the beginning of June and have no idea how thats going to happen.
'Luckily' two girls I know who wanted to live with us have included us in their plans next year.
Today, I got on 3 buses. On all of them I felt angry. On the last one I took the little bus ticket and wrote a note to the next person that would sit there, letting them know how scared and disgusted I was at the person sitting in front of me.
2 strangers were nice today, which is 2 more than usual and at the times I needed it too. But ever since the day I went to Oxford street-I have felt intense anger for every look I get thats a little bit too long.
(In Oxford street I was walking along with friends, minding my own damn business, when some guy grabbed my shoulder and tried to lick my ear. It would have been hilarious if I hadnt felt so sick. He also made a horrible sound. I shouted at him and he smiled...as if it turned me on and I was considering being his girlfriend or something. Sophie 'hugged' my face(basically suffocated me) so I'd stop shouting and not go through with my threat of chasing him and kicking him in the balls.)
Sophie makes the noise he made every week, I havent told her, but every time she does it I almost gag.
alright, it's actually about 3 am, I'm still bored, but that is all.
Honestly,somehow, it always seems that ,
I'm dreaming, of something I can never be
It doesn't bother me,
'cause I will always be
the pimp that I see
in all of my fantasies.
1 comment:
next time i see u will u tell me of this incident in person? sounds hilare
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