thats all i gotta say, i have scars mmm, london tonight-yay hopefully.
im in radio class, i want lunch
"yes rap angel, i shall rap about deez nutz"
Im in your seas, transporting your passengers
(i think im the only person in the entire world that finds these funny.)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
ouch
I had an allergic reaction again today. I got up and started getting ready for conference, and after my really hot shower, i saw a face product that id used before, just put a bit on then went into my room. Then a second later my face started burning so i walked back to the bathroom and nothing was wrong so i just splashed it a couple times. Then about 10 minutes later it really started hurting so i decided to look in the mirror and in areas it was bright red and the parts really affected looked like id been stung with stinging nettles...mmmm. Anyway i wasnt that bothered and after a while i walked into my parents room to get something when my mum said "whats wrong with your face?" and i got scared but it was still the same as before. Before we got in the car she told me to take a wash cloth with ice to put on it, and by the time we reached maidstone (around 30 minutes) it'd kinda calmed down. Still stung like crazy though.
The best quote from today was
Diann/mother "It's really red."
Jordana/daughter "Well im wearing red today, so i might as well have a matching face."
Saw someone in maidstone ive never talked to, but still was shocked to see. I pulled Billie aside especially.
Rosie Taekema and Heather Meacham pulled me aside (ariege they said 'where are you?' and also 'does she still look like an aubergine?' I'm surprised they remembered)
Megan (aarons sister) was there, we did the whole "o do you remember me? from the dances?" thing.
I sung all the way through for the first time ever. James broke his promise and deserted me so i walked off, well stumbled around for a while. I thought today was going to be really bad, but it wasn't. Maybe people aren't so bad.
Wo oo, operation christmas child on the 11th November, im so there, best part of my year-look it up, its cheese but good.
The best quote from today was
Diann/mother "It's really red."
Jordana/daughter "Well im wearing red today, so i might as well have a matching face."
Saw someone in maidstone ive never talked to, but still was shocked to see. I pulled Billie aside especially.
Rosie Taekema and Heather Meacham pulled me aside (ariege they said 'where are you?' and also 'does she still look like an aubergine?' I'm surprised they remembered)
Megan (aarons sister) was there, we did the whole "o do you remember me? from the dances?" thing.
I sung all the way through for the first time ever. James broke his promise and deserted me so i walked off, well stumbled around for a while. I thought today was going to be really bad, but it wasn't. Maybe people aren't so bad.
Wo oo, operation christmas child on the 11th November, im so there, best part of my year-look it up, its cheese but good.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
a change of subject
In that picture I'm fanning away the spirits, alcoholic spirits, and the flowers have black wafting off of them, just because. the background says something of me being head girl. Ariege's sister used to be head girl at newstead, i used to look at the name YEARS before i met ariege and think "what a strangely wonderful name."
Steph, Chloe, me, Sarah, Leah. The only person i really liked on my table was cut out the picture. Well i liked Chloe...um. I miss Mona. Examine my "hello I'm Jordana, I'm at newstead wood and i love formals" fake smile. Newstead wood girls always look different than other girls.
I remember this day now! I was wearing a skirt, i walked into the hall late and Chloe and Leah stood up and started making fun of me, because i was in a skirt, JUST like Chloe and Laura did when i walked into Lloyds on sunday.
hate you all, mwa. Conference tomorrow at Maidstone. hmm.
I cant wait for 2006 to be over. A much better year than last year but still terrible. Ahhh my own stupid fault anyway.
"Well here we go again
You've found yourself a friend that knows you well
But no matter what you do
You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell "-yeah.
I do miss school, only for Laura and me being 'immature' and me n mona having deep conversations, ahhh. French lessons, i miss them ALOT. O and classics, i saw my medea book with all my scribbles. I was on the train with mr stokes awhile ago, i panicked a little. I tried to be all cool, i doubt he noticed me, he's gay.
shower time now, then ice lolly time.
Im sleeping downstairs tonight, hello daddy yes i am
bye
time goes forward today, ablah blah blAH
Steph, Chloe, me, Sarah, Leah. The only person i really liked on my table was cut out the picture. Well i liked Chloe...um. I miss Mona. Examine my "hello I'm Jordana, I'm at newstead wood and i love formals" fake smile. Newstead wood girls always look different than other girls.
I remember this day now! I was wearing a skirt, i walked into the hall late and Chloe and Leah stood up and started making fun of me, because i was in a skirt, JUST like Chloe and Laura did when i walked into Lloyds on sunday.
hate you all, mwa. Conference tomorrow at Maidstone. hmm.
I cant wait for 2006 to be over. A much better year than last year but still terrible. Ahhh my own stupid fault anyway.
"Well here we go again
You've found yourself a friend that knows you well
But no matter what you do
You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell "-yeah.
I do miss school, only for Laura and me being 'immature' and me n mona having deep conversations, ahhh. French lessons, i miss them ALOT. O and classics, i saw my medea book with all my scribbles. I was on the train with mr stokes awhile ago, i panicked a little. I tried to be all cool, i doubt he noticed me, he's gay.
shower time now, then ice lolly time.
Im sleeping downstairs tonight, hello daddy yes i am
bye
time goes forward today, ablah blah blAH
even if you got down on your knees you couldnt make me stay
"stab my back, it's better when i bleed for you"
Im at home, james' friends...thats all i can say, strange . James is friends with kids i used to know from pirmary school, they dont even recognise me so i just look down and say "pass the cord please...hello james."
My parents are at a church thing, i was meant to go which is why i came back earlier, so just me, ma bro and my uncle.
"you wrecked my life, now im gonna have to drive all night."
James is going out, really missed him this week actually seeing as the last time we saw each other it was an intense brother/sis bonding thang going on.
Nereasha and i took huge mugs to shorthand, this girl who reminds me of leah gave us the dirtiest looks while commenting on us bringing them to a lesson. We spent the whole time laughing (quietly, so we werent told off)
i have nothing to write about, had a weird dream again last night, was in a room on a bed and the door opened, a girl looked down on the floor and started talking to a person sleeping there, then she pointed at me and said "well she better be worth it." So i pretended to sleep and she was trying to convince the person to wake me up. They kept saying no, though i couldnt hear their voice. After she left, i felt the edge of the bed move, so i kicked out my leg as if i was turning over in my sleep and the bed went back to normal. I then lay there with my eyes open until i was actually awake with my eyes open looking up in the dark. So im not sure if i was fully asleep or just kinda 'day'dreaming.
"Its amazing what you'll find, when you just open your eyes...
...now this wrong remains it will never ever go away"
on the subject of music i had the longest seeming dream once that hanson were in my house, and taylor and i were in my garden playing with a ball, and then they left in a van but said "see you tomorrow" and then i woke up and i was sooo angry! damn dreams.
im bored, ariege when you next back?
Im at home, james' friends...thats all i can say, strange . James is friends with kids i used to know from pirmary school, they dont even recognise me so i just look down and say "pass the cord please...hello james."
My parents are at a church thing, i was meant to go which is why i came back earlier, so just me, ma bro and my uncle.
"you wrecked my life, now im gonna have to drive all night."
James is going out, really missed him this week actually seeing as the last time we saw each other it was an intense brother/sis bonding thang going on.
Nereasha and i took huge mugs to shorthand, this girl who reminds me of leah gave us the dirtiest looks while commenting on us bringing them to a lesson. We spent the whole time laughing (quietly, so we werent told off)
i have nothing to write about, had a weird dream again last night, was in a room on a bed and the door opened, a girl looked down on the floor and started talking to a person sleeping there, then she pointed at me and said "well she better be worth it." So i pretended to sleep and she was trying to convince the person to wake me up. They kept saying no, though i couldnt hear their voice. After she left, i felt the edge of the bed move, so i kicked out my leg as if i was turning over in my sleep and the bed went back to normal. I then lay there with my eyes open until i was actually awake with my eyes open looking up in the dark. So im not sure if i was fully asleep or just kinda 'day'dreaming.
"Its amazing what you'll find, when you just open your eyes...
...now this wrong remains it will never ever go away"
on the subject of music i had the longest seeming dream once that hanson were in my house, and taylor and i were in my garden playing with a ball, and then they left in a van but said "see you tomorrow" and then i woke up and i was sooo angry! damn dreams.
im bored, ariege when you next back?
Thursday, October 26, 2006
lucid dreaming
a couple nights ago i had a dream that this guy i knew (in the dream) had one of those long death lock things, all i remember about his hair was that i was sitting on my bed at uni and he had his head on my shoulder, and his hair was really soft (i realised this was because i slept on my fluffy pillow that night) and i was just feeling it against my jaw/cheek.
THEN we zoomed to orpington, in a big white van, driving with loads of people, i was with a girl i knew and the rest guys (these people were all made up in my dream)
they tried teaching me how to ride a bike, but i refused...some of them went driving round on a motorcycle while the rest of us sat in the van eating, and it was freezing. Then at one point i got up and (i have this thing about running) i said i need to run, so he agreed to run with me and we started running down this street (which is the one near newstead and the station with the huuumongus hill)
then i stopped because i had won, and there was a man walking his dog, and i turned around and at that second the man let lose this dog
(which looked like a dog we used to have in Trinidad, except the real one was really softcore and this was a mega-hardcore-beast)
so i faced the boy and i was like 'stop running', and he just laughed and though he didn't turn around, he knew the dog was there, and as the dog jumped up to bite him he just turned to the side and the dog ignored him and came towards me. And then at this point i realised it was a dream, so i told myself to stop it, but the dog still came at me. So i thought ok, do that lucid thinking crap but it just didn't work. the dog came up to me and i did the turny thing like the guy before did, but it came up and bit my back. And you don't feel pain in dreams but this sharp pain hit my back and i remember feeling really shocked, and in the dream there was all this blood, and the dog was tearing at my back, then i finally woke up.
I got up straight away and felt my back and nothing hurt, how weird is that, how did i feel pain in a dream and nothing had actually caused that pain?
i had another dream after that, and it was just this large strong piece of metal floating in the air,and i could make it bend by thinking about it, (like magneto innit) and i made all these weird shapes, and i made it look like people i knew and i remember laughing alot.
then i made it into a slide without meaning or wanting to and somehow i started sliding down it head first and i was really scared because there was nothing at the end, and i woke myself up.
ima rant more.just because.
when i was younger, and til maybe a year ago, i had this one recurring dream and it was from when i was told we were leaving trinidad onwards. In the dream i 'woke up' and this guy was tapping at the window and i opened it. He was totally silver, didnt have a face. hmm just realised he didnt have a voice but we somehow communicated... and id sit by the air conditioning unit just talking to him until i fell asleep in the dream and then really woke up.
Then in england they stopped for a while because i only had nightmares, but in one nightmare he zoomed past and i hated him.
then we started 'talking' again, but not the same as before because i was older i guess, and hated dreams. (ha do i sound like a right retard? rytz retardz liek)
lalala then i had dreams where he didnt knock, hed just literally come right in, and it was nice but weird. And then in one dream i said "i wish you had the face of someone i like talking to", and he just kind of nodded, and i "fell asleep" and away he went
whooooooosssh
ive had a few dreams about real people recently, more than ever but i hate them, because when i wake up and realise it WAS just a dream, i get a little sad, but more hopefull, maybe
ok i got loads of shorthand to draw
THEN we zoomed to orpington, in a big white van, driving with loads of people, i was with a girl i knew and the rest guys (these people were all made up in my dream)
they tried teaching me how to ride a bike, but i refused...some of them went driving round on a motorcycle while the rest of us sat in the van eating, and it was freezing. Then at one point i got up and (i have this thing about running) i said i need to run, so he agreed to run with me and we started running down this street (which is the one near newstead and the station with the huuumongus hill)
then i stopped because i had won, and there was a man walking his dog, and i turned around and at that second the man let lose this dog
(which looked like a dog we used to have in Trinidad, except the real one was really softcore and this was a mega-hardcore-beast)
so i faced the boy and i was like 'stop running', and he just laughed and though he didn't turn around, he knew the dog was there, and as the dog jumped up to bite him he just turned to the side and the dog ignored him and came towards me. And then at this point i realised it was a dream, so i told myself to stop it, but the dog still came at me. So i thought ok, do that lucid thinking crap but it just didn't work. the dog came up to me and i did the turny thing like the guy before did, but it came up and bit my back. And you don't feel pain in dreams but this sharp pain hit my back and i remember feeling really shocked, and in the dream there was all this blood, and the dog was tearing at my back, then i finally woke up.
I got up straight away and felt my back and nothing hurt, how weird is that, how did i feel pain in a dream and nothing had actually caused that pain?
i had another dream after that, and it was just this large strong piece of metal floating in the air,and i could make it bend by thinking about it, (like magneto innit) and i made all these weird shapes, and i made it look like people i knew and i remember laughing alot.
then i made it into a slide without meaning or wanting to and somehow i started sliding down it head first and i was really scared because there was nothing at the end, and i woke myself up.
ima rant more.just because.
when i was younger, and til maybe a year ago, i had this one recurring dream and it was from when i was told we were leaving trinidad onwards. In the dream i 'woke up' and this guy was tapping at the window and i opened it. He was totally silver, didnt have a face. hmm just realised he didnt have a voice but we somehow communicated... and id sit by the air conditioning unit just talking to him until i fell asleep in the dream and then really woke up.
Then in england they stopped for a while because i only had nightmares, but in one nightmare he zoomed past and i hated him.
then we started 'talking' again, but not the same as before because i was older i guess, and hated dreams. (ha do i sound like a right retard? rytz retardz liek)
lalala then i had dreams where he didnt knock, hed just literally come right in, and it was nice but weird. And then in one dream i said "i wish you had the face of someone i like talking to", and he just kind of nodded, and i "fell asleep" and away he went
whooooooosssh
ive had a few dreams about real people recently, more than ever but i hate them, because when i wake up and realise it WAS just a dream, i get a little sad, but more hopefull, maybe
ok i got loads of shorthand to draw
I've been listening to AAR alot recently, which is a good thing as they are making me happy. I think its annoying my neighbour though, but who cares, he stomps around his room to get my attention, so im drowing him out with better sounds. (if theres any mistakes, pah, im writing this in a lecture and cant see the screen...)
Wednesday was such an empty day, just music and movies, i watched ali g again, wow its really crap, minus a few parts. My summer of love was the best british low budget movie ive seen in my LIFE.
edith piaf ahhhh i just played that song over and over again and did the little dance thing, yeah im sad, who cares it made me happy. All american rejects are making me very happy, im sad i havent listened to them for an hour and a half now.
nereasha slept round ;ast night cos i felt really alone, dan called me up to mke flapjacks, which was really nice of him. They tasted nice. Nereasha gave me free chips. shes sleeping in my room now while i sit here.
im in a group with tash dave and shaikre and vanessa for reporting skills. we had to interview each other. our mini project on me. Im hating this "jordana is sitting there in the colours she is rarely seen without, red belt, red top, red jumper, red nails and red bag." "at the age of three jordana lived a happy life in her native trinidad, free from cares til the day she nearly drowned." "Jordana was hit by a car, she had to go to hospital" They have to overemphasise everything to make it seem interesting.
I wanted to do daves impaling himself with glass at 10, or tash's totalling a jaguar at 3, but no.
(that comment freaked me out dude. another censorship issue)
Why cant people be friends without all this relationship crap getting in the way?
i want to leave uni now, i agreed to do something on the weekend i dont think i should do, or want to do-im so stupid.
I didnt sleep last night-arrrgh not again
anyway lectures re-starting betterrrr go.
nereashas working tonight, free chips. Zahras gone to canada, ahhhh
Wednesday was such an empty day, just music and movies, i watched ali g again, wow its really crap, minus a few parts. My summer of love was the best british low budget movie ive seen in my LIFE.
edith piaf ahhhh i just played that song over and over again and did the little dance thing, yeah im sad, who cares it made me happy. All american rejects are making me very happy, im sad i havent listened to them for an hour and a half now.
nereasha slept round ;ast night cos i felt really alone, dan called me up to mke flapjacks, which was really nice of him. They tasted nice. Nereasha gave me free chips. shes sleeping in my room now while i sit here.
im in a group with tash dave and shaikre and vanessa for reporting skills. we had to interview each other. our mini project on me. Im hating this "jordana is sitting there in the colours she is rarely seen without, red belt, red top, red jumper, red nails and red bag." "at the age of three jordana lived a happy life in her native trinidad, free from cares til the day she nearly drowned." "Jordana was hit by a car, she had to go to hospital" They have to overemphasise everything to make it seem interesting.
I wanted to do daves impaling himself with glass at 10, or tash's totalling a jaguar at 3, but no.
(that comment freaked me out dude. another censorship issue)
Why cant people be friends without all this relationship crap getting in the way?
i want to leave uni now, i agreed to do something on the weekend i dont think i should do, or want to do-im so stupid.
I didnt sleep last night-arrrgh not again
anyway lectures re-starting betterrrr go.
nereashas working tonight, free chips. Zahras gone to canada, ahhhh
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
sometimes, i think i can see right through myself
ahhh i listened to nine inch nails allloott today
my new hatred is boys. Im in the library next to an uber GEEK (which is the horrible word) who i also have to live with. I cannot stand people.
(people who spy and look over my screen as i type (read: ian my flatmate) freak me out.
Is that subtle enough?
i dont hate people really, im just bored
(edit 28th october, naaaaahhh i think i hate people)
my new hatred is boys. Im in the library next to an uber GEEK (which is the horrible word) who i also have to live with. I cannot stand people.
(people who spy and look over my screen as i type (read: ian my flatmate) freak me out.
Is that subtle enough?
i dont hate people really, im just bored
(edit 28th october, naaaaahhh i think i hate people)
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
design assessment
im in a design assessment, ive done all my work
haha we've passed
NOW im confident, not then, NOW
im recieving texts, blondey is more civil than pratt. HA who'd have thought,
im goign to otts next weekend to see ellerie, then exeter sometime after that, my flatmates have taken all my cupboard space, argh losers, they found a skip and decorated our kitchen with the contents, nice and sterile i say.
people (especially people) suck
haha we've passed
NOW im confident, not then, NOW
im recieving texts, blondey is more civil than pratt. HA who'd have thought,
im goign to otts next weekend to see ellerie, then exeter sometime after that, my flatmates have taken all my cupboard space, argh losers, they found a skip and decorated our kitchen with the contents, nice and sterile i say.
people (especially people) suck
Monday, October 23, 2006
no opinion
so on saturday had a fun day "little pinches" and running through some rain and dancing on a platform (ok so already gave my opinion shoot me)
then on sunday a wet day and had to stand up and say stuff a couple of times, then went to elloroes and took some pictures and ate some food and listened to delightful music, then went down to bromley and had some banter with laura and her scott, chloe and her wauren. Scott kept walking away eveytime something was funny and at one time chloe had to hold my waist because i was talking and then looked at laura and laughed and i started choking, water down the eyes and everything dzarling
then they gave me a lift home
then james had my laptop round someones house so i stayed downstairs as long as possible then turned on my tv and watched george clooney do soemthign with vampires, then i turned it off and drew until early morning.
Then on monday i stayed in bed for as long as possible and got out at 9.15 and hung out with james and played a game ( and he kicked my butt the first 2 times but then i kicked his and he got annoyed and spent all his "game money" buying people to kill me...and then won) and then we ordered pizza with change and watched a movie, then we both fell asleep on the sofa and i woke him up. and then i wrote for uni for a few hours
bland and sterile
then on sunday a wet day and had to stand up and say stuff a couple of times, then went to elloroes and took some pictures and ate some food and listened to delightful music, then went down to bromley and had some banter with laura and her scott, chloe and her wauren. Scott kept walking away eveytime something was funny and at one time chloe had to hold my waist because i was talking and then looked at laura and laughed and i started choking, water down the eyes and everything dzarling
then they gave me a lift home
then james had my laptop round someones house so i stayed downstairs as long as possible then turned on my tv and watched george clooney do soemthign with vampires, then i turned it off and drew until early morning.
Then on monday i stayed in bed for as long as possible and got out at 9.15 and hung out with james and played a game ( and he kicked my butt the first 2 times but then i kicked his and he got annoyed and spent all his "game money" buying people to kill me...and then won) and then we ordered pizza with change and watched a movie, then we both fell asleep on the sofa and i woke him up. and then i wrote for uni for a few hours
bland and sterile
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Jordana's lyrics of the week, class 101.
The last two posts weren't very nice, but i wasn't in a "nice" mood. It's weird how one person can make you hate the word nice. Also that one person can make you despise yourself for being nice.
Promise Breaker
Why do you build me up and then break me down?
Why don't you just come through?
You know that I can't get by on promises you never should have made
I'm holding on, but not for long if you don't make a change.
Why do you build me up and then break me down?
Why don't you just come through?
I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.
If you can't do what you say, I'm leaving you
Sometimes love is not enough.
Your good intentions are losing their intent
I'm waiting for something more that might not ever come
You're losing me...
lalala Homegrown rock, missed them for the year n a half i stopped listening, should have listened to this song a year ago!
and also these are the best lyrics ever:
Why do girls analyse
Evaluate and criticise
Other girls that they don't know
Spreading rumors, spreading lies,
Talking shit when I walk by
You're always stepping on my toes
apparently my song, fuck that. Best song ever though.
BAAAAD day today, i think. Was meant to be at work for 8 and then at uni with suitcases by 3. Arrived at work at 11, no suitcases, but got my glasses. And im just going straight home, lost the (actually change that to lolz to) effort.
ARgh i hate the word effort too, "blah blah effort, blah blah attention."
Just thought of a title for this blog, now some good ol' Poison the Well
Mid Air Love Message
Kisses are never safe when residue of old love is left
how could I feel lesser when someone better walks around
waiting for you to call out
As your cold hand grasps mine I feel unright
and privileged to be able to look
in your eyes, same chemical as stars
Deformed fingers leave trails of hearts in writing
could three words be the end to births only meaning
Crying to sleep is my remedy
urgently trying to stand on broken / confused legs
Am I looking for reasons not to be happy
emotions catch up with me / I'm too fast for them
i just like the first line innnnnit, well and others.
wooooaaah and the song moments over exaggerate-thats my life/brain! haha excellent song title and excellente song. Why are they not on my ipod?
hmm they got too emo, wannabe ish on their last album, thats why i went off them.
no point talking about real life today-work sucks! grey days suck unless ...(nah)
i was sitting on a train to farnham the other day and all these words came into my head and i didnt have a pen so i typed the first line on my phone and couldnt remember the rest, i thought it was pretty good, but all i have is something about appreciating, and gone.
i suck
xxxxx
Actually...i got so bored doing NOTHING at work i thought i'd do some of my "making up a story out of nuthin" thang...
(well i wrote it out and it bored me, if something that was fun, is boring to write about, then there's no point.)
"o Jordaahhhhnah, i was wondering if the servers had come back online?"(my name is JorDANa bitch)
"o not yet th-"
"because you see im very busy... and if i dont waahhhaaaheeeewwoooyooouurrrenotttaloooone"
"yes" "uhuh"
[This is my day, having people ask me questions and not listen to my answer then telling me about their lives while i zone out and sing songs]
the new guy keeps tapping at the door, i find this funny so im not going to give him the code.
Promise Breaker
Why do you build me up and then break me down?
Why don't you just come through?
You know that I can't get by on promises you never should have made
I'm holding on, but not for long if you don't make a change.
Why do you build me up and then break me down?
Why don't you just come through?
I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.
If you can't do what you say, I'm leaving you
Sometimes love is not enough.
Your good intentions are losing their intent
I'm waiting for something more that might not ever come
You're losing me...
lalala Homegrown rock, missed them for the year n a half i stopped listening, should have listened to this song a year ago!
and also these are the best lyrics ever:
Why do girls analyse
Evaluate and criticise
Other girls that they don't know
Spreading rumors, spreading lies,
Talking shit when I walk by
You're always stepping on my toes
apparently my song, fuck that. Best song ever though.
BAAAAD day today, i think. Was meant to be at work for 8 and then at uni with suitcases by 3. Arrived at work at 11, no suitcases, but got my glasses. And im just going straight home, lost the (actually change that to lolz to) effort.
ARgh i hate the word effort too, "blah blah effort, blah blah attention."
Just thought of a title for this blog, now some good ol' Poison the Well
Mid Air Love Message
Kisses are never safe when residue of old love is left
how could I feel lesser when someone better walks around
waiting for you to call out
As your cold hand grasps mine I feel unright
and privileged to be able to look
in your eyes, same chemical as stars
Deformed fingers leave trails of hearts in writing
could three words be the end to births only meaning
Crying to sleep is my remedy
urgently trying to stand on broken / confused legs
Am I looking for reasons not to be happy
emotions catch up with me / I'm too fast for them
i just like the first line innnnnit, well and others.
wooooaaah and the song moments over exaggerate-thats my life/brain! haha excellent song title and excellente song. Why are they not on my ipod?
hmm they got too emo, wannabe ish on their last album, thats why i went off them.
no point talking about real life today-work sucks! grey days suck unless ...(nah)
i was sitting on a train to farnham the other day and all these words came into my head and i didnt have a pen so i typed the first line on my phone and couldnt remember the rest, i thought it was pretty good, but all i have is something about appreciating, and gone.
i suck
xxxxx
Actually...i got so bored doing NOTHING at work i thought i'd do some of my "making up a story out of nuthin" thang...
(well i wrote it out and it bored me, if something that was fun, is boring to write about, then there's no point.)
"o Jordaahhhhnah, i was wondering if the servers had come back online?"(my name is JorDANa bitch)
"o not yet th-"
"because you see im very busy... and if i dont waahhhaaaheeeewwoooyooouurrrenotttaloooone"
"yes" "uhuh"
[This is my day, having people ask me questions and not listen to my answer then telling me about their lives while i zone out and sing songs]
the new guy keeps tapping at the door, i find this funny so im not going to give him the code.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
an hour and a half of sleep is a good thing.
I don't wear a coat since I love the cold. It's not my fault I was never told... to be polite when I speak. Bow to crowds' applause from empty seats. Hold out your hand; are you ready to eat? You look starved from up here.
They paved the streets we used to meet. How about another ride around to treat,
a sickness where I leak out my dreams?
Fill in the dirt as I crawl out a hole. Ev-ry-thing-I-have-I stole... It's just cheaper that way. What's the reason I don't wake up? Fuck this, fuck you. I am reason enough... to daydream the day.
I never needed anyone. I'd even give up my health for a pretty little name that's electric. It's electric.
Mmm i do love this band. Id like to escape right now. I wish i traveled rather than uni. I wouldnt mind going on another year out now, now when i have independence. I want to listen to Socratic, like i have the strongest urge right now, but i have to be polite.
I was meant to be in bromley, where the hell is my family.
Im exhausted but i feel more awake on less sleep.YES charlotte.xxxxxxx
.
They paved the streets we used to meet. How about another ride around to treat,
a sickness where I leak out my dreams?
Fill in the dirt as I crawl out a hole. Ev-ry-thing-I-have-I stole... It's just cheaper that way. What's the reason I don't wake up? Fuck this, fuck you. I am reason enough... to daydream the day.
I never needed anyone. I'd even give up my health for a pretty little name that's electric. It's electric.
Mmm i do love this band. Id like to escape right now. I wish i traveled rather than uni. I wouldnt mind going on another year out now, now when i have independence. I want to listen to Socratic, like i have the strongest urge right now, but i have to be polite.
I was meant to be in bromley, where the hell is my family.
Im exhausted but i feel more awake on less sleep.YES charlotte.xxxxxxx
.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
And I will never accept there's nothing after death.
Why is my tv playing music from Amelie? Makes me even more happy. I like conversations that are a bit out of my league of understanding.
xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx
Book
I write too much don't care lalala
ok today i missed a train by a minute, so i walked around waterloo station for a while, got a huuuuge coffee, nicest one ever, and continued walking in small circles and laughing when i realised people noticed. The the train was ready so i got on. Had a missed call so called them back, managed to get out of something i really didnt want to do. Then got a call back from the person saying they were giving up. Such a relief. Just because you write a song doesnt mean the hatred for you will ever go away.
Then these "pikeys" got on the train, sat right next to me while i was on the phone so i huddled all my stuff together. They had weird accents. They kept looking at me. When i got off the phone the one next to me says "oi miss does this train go brockwood?" I said i wasnt sure and we looked at the display "yes, it does."
In the end (i write too much) we all ended up talking, (mainly because one of them made a comment about girls and aimed it at me and i laughed at him-the he said, "why are you laughing at me and etc) there was about 7 of them from "donny" "wheres that?" "doncaster you crazy bitch" They were about 17 apparently "o i thought you were all 14" and joining the army. They were really alright, it was nice to be surprised, they sounded like thugs but hated the whole pikey attitude. We all laughed a bit, talked, didnt find out each others names and then they said bye as they got off the train.
Alright day at uni i guess, back on the train...got to London Bridge where before a guy walked down and said his monologue for money... i was behind him and no one looked up when he talked, i wish i had had food to give him. I felt annoyed because i wasnt going to give him money, he was shaking so bad and i didnt want him to buy drugs if thats what he was on. But then as he was about to walk off sooo many people gave him money. I actually felt happy, these hard suits smiling at him only when he made eye contact. So i got off at LB and so did he and i stared at him til i couldnt see him. Then i ran for a train to Hither Green and NO ONE would move down the carriage and there was one man, soo funny who had a huge box on wheels and i cant remember the word he used but he was trying to get on a really crowded part and shouted out "is there any room for a little one and his little *insert what ever it was here*" It was the first time i heard alot of people laugh on a platform at one moment, it was really nice. But then i decided to be bitter and i looked at one man down the train who wouldnt move down, so i stared at him from the raining platform til he looked up and then i smiled, he took out his ear phones and smiled and looked as if he was about to say something, and i mouthed "next time dont be a selfish dick" and smiled.
good day i guess.
ok today i missed a train by a minute, so i walked around waterloo station for a while, got a huuuuge coffee, nicest one ever, and continued walking in small circles and laughing when i realised people noticed. The the train was ready so i got on. Had a missed call so called them back, managed to get out of something i really didnt want to do. Then got a call back from the person saying they were giving up. Such a relief. Just because you write a song doesnt mean the hatred for you will ever go away.
Then these "pikeys" got on the train, sat right next to me while i was on the phone so i huddled all my stuff together. They had weird accents. They kept looking at me. When i got off the phone the one next to me says "oi miss does this train go brockwood?" I said i wasnt sure and we looked at the display "yes, it does."
In the end (i write too much) we all ended up talking, (mainly because one of them made a comment about girls and aimed it at me and i laughed at him-the he said, "why are you laughing at me and etc) there was about 7 of them from "donny" "wheres that?" "doncaster you crazy bitch" They were about 17 apparently "o i thought you were all 14" and joining the army. They were really alright, it was nice to be surprised, they sounded like thugs but hated the whole pikey attitude. We all laughed a bit, talked, didnt find out each others names and then they said bye as they got off the train.
Alright day at uni i guess, back on the train...got to London Bridge where before a guy walked down and said his monologue for money... i was behind him and no one looked up when he talked, i wish i had had food to give him. I felt annoyed because i wasnt going to give him money, he was shaking so bad and i didnt want him to buy drugs if thats what he was on. But then as he was about to walk off sooo many people gave him money. I actually felt happy, these hard suits smiling at him only when he made eye contact. So i got off at LB and so did he and i stared at him til i couldnt see him. Then i ran for a train to Hither Green and NO ONE would move down the carriage and there was one man, soo funny who had a huge box on wheels and i cant remember the word he used but he was trying to get on a really crowded part and shouted out "is there any room for a little one and his little *insert what ever it was here*" It was the first time i heard alot of people laugh on a platform at one moment, it was really nice. But then i decided to be bitter and i looked at one man down the train who wouldnt move down, so i stared at him from the raining platform til he looked up and then i smiled, he took out his ear phones and smiled and looked as if he was about to say something, and i mouthed "next time dont be a selfish dick" and smiled.
good day i guess.
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