I'm in the library and theres a dude on a bike outside looking up at me and staring, I'm terrified.
This is the most bored and scared of spiders I've been in long time. For a while, the situation with the spiders was good, they just stopped hanging out in the corners of my room, or making spider webs above my bed, or haunting my dreams.
Yesterday this big fat dorky one just sat in the corner 'til I got my house mate to move it, I'm tempted to ask to swap rooms with him, even though mine is massive and his is small but I don't think he'd want to.
This morning, in a dreamlike state I walked to my kitchen to make my stomach shut its grumblings. On the way there I looked up, woke up in a flash and screamed while jumping back. Its a shame the house was empty. I then ran forward, as my hunger beats the fear and anger I have towards these beasts. I'd happily wipe them out holocaust style if that were possible.
Running forward (or skipping) I looked up to see the long dopey pratt fall on me, where I then fell in a mess of fear and shook frantically, sobbing my way into the kitchen. Annoyed and feeling like a prisoner in my own disgusting garbage infested home, I had a shower so hot, if a spider even thought about looking at me it would burn.
I then sat at my computer and thought, "what the hell do I do now?" I'm too angry to pretend to do work, so I looked through all my music til I found two bands I hoped spiders would hate (senses fail and socratic) and blasted my speakers then ran out the house slamming the door.
I found a spider crawling up my arm during my walk, the death was both sad and fulfilling.
Now all I can think about is food again, but I know as soon as I walk into that house another spider will pop up and I'll probably scream at it. I'm seriously considering hypnosis so that I can live as a normal person.
On Tuesday night I went to bed really early. I woke up two hours later by the sounds of the girls upstairs having a big spider falling on them and it running out the door. Disturbed, I started to read until i saw (probably another) big spider crawl in between the cracks of my door and settle in the corner. For the whole night I thought I was going insane. I'd look up at the thing and feel such anger for it. I left the lights on and stayed awake the whole night, only leaving my bed to go look up at it from a distance and mutter under my breath how much I hated it.
There was a reason for my madness (or so I thought at the time) Every spider that has entered my room has ended up spinning its web above my head. My friends told me its because they like dark damp corners. So by leaving the lights on, I was making it not move any closer. Also, the past few nights before I kept having over the top nightmares about massive spiders speeding for my face while I was lying down. I'd then spend the rest of the night huddled under my duvet in fear thinking that a smudge on the wall was the spider and not realising til late the next morning it was all a dream.
So on this horrible Tuesday night, I spent every few minutes looking at my phone, imagining crazy thoughts, thinking a few normal thoughts, composing stories and reading my book.
One of the stories I made up in my head was about a boy and his red guitar and he sat in a room and slowly went insane. That story angered me so much I threw my book at the spider. It moved slightly from the little bit of wind the passing book created. I then ran over and picked up Memoirs of a Geisha, verbally apologising to it out loud as, "books have souls, unlike spiders."
When it came to 8am, I made Niall kill it.
Anyway better stop, otherwise the crazies will think I'm crazy.
